3 SIMPLE WAYS TO HELP BIRDS THIS SPRING

People always ask me, “Hey look, it’s the Bearded ‘Burgher Birder Blogger in Boulder! Tell me, ‘5B,’ now that it’s the ‘spring migration’ for birds, what can I do to help?!” Thanks for the question! What a great question! I’ll answer it three times:

1) FEED the birds to help them survive the harsh springtime!

Here in Boulder we basically feed our pet chickens almost every day, so I thought I could help even more types of birds if I threw out regular birdseed with the chicken feed (food)! The results have been astounding!

Look at the incredible outdoor aviary I have! Besides all our different-colored chickens, we feed all the local House Sparrows, European Starlings, and Eurasian Collared-Doves to help them survive, too! I ought to charge admission to come see this!

2) SAVE birds’ lives by making your garbage “bird-safe!”

Now that the weather is heating back up, most of us like to cool off with a refreshing six-pack of Mountain Dew. Unfortunately, the empty six-pack rings can get caught around the necks of garbage-loving birds like seagulls and ducks. (Really gives a whole new meaning to the name “Ring-necked Duck,” LOL!) So it’s very important to cut up your rings into tiny little pieces before throwing them away, and then go around to your local dumpsters to look for any more that you need to cut up!

Every Monday and Friday you can find me at any one of Boulder’s sixteen dumpsters, doing my civic duty! All for the love of birds! And yes, since you’re probably wondering, that is indeed a cool bird tattoo peeking out from under my Peace Dove shirt! (Which leads me to the third and final way you can help birds:)

3) SHOW everyone how much you care about birds!

If you can’t carry your binoculars around everywhere (which all serious birders really should, because what if you see a bird?) then how else will people know your feelings about birds? Well, a nice start is to always wear T-shirts and baseball caps with birds on them, accompanied by tan swishy cargo pants to complete the essential “birder look.” But why stop there? Why not decorate every available space in your home with bird-related memorabilia?

The online collage maker would only let me use a maximum of 25 images, but these are just a few of the ways that I show all my visitors how much I truly care about birds.

So this spring, make sure you do your part to help birds! Just remember: 1) FEED, 2) SAVE, 3) SHOW!!! It’s easy!

BIRDING IN THE PRESENCE OF GIANTS

Yes folks, I finally fulfilled a lifelong dream: birding with a celebrity birder!!! Or at least just a celebrity! Check out this eBird screenshot from my smartphone:

Me and THE Donald Sutherland!

Wow, can you believe it?! Hollywood’s own Donald Sutherland, Kiefer’s dad and screen legend in his own right, known for such films as the film of the show MASH and those “Mockingjay” (not even a real bird!) movies, birding in MY county! What an honor! Yes, I suppose I didn’t actually meet him, since Panguitch is all the way at the other side of the county, 92 miles away. But still, the feeling of sharing “the field” with him is something I’ll always cherish. For such an American icon to choose to look for birds in this remote part of the country, possibly because my interesting blog inspired him, I am truly humbled.

I couldn’t find any photos of him birding, which is nice that the paparazzi would know not to disturb him during such times.

I will point out that if you take a look at the species totals on that day, you will notice that I saw nearly 5 times as many birds as Mr. Sutherland, merely from my backyard alone, while he was out on a trail.

No contest.

I’ll further note that this may not have been the celebrity Donald Sutherland, and instead just some regular birder with the same name, in which case, apologies. I’d still love to meet the real Donald Sutherland, though!

COOL VIDEO: Winter Birding Demonstration

Just like Hollywood Legend Ben Affleck, I decided to direct AND star in my own film production! It’s shot in the traditional selfie-documentary style, and it’s all about going birding in the winter! Enjoy, and learn!

THREE HUGE EXCITING PIECES OF NEWS!

As the title above says, I’ve got three huge exciting pieces of news, so let’s just get right to it, shall we?! Yeah!!!

1) O.K., the gig is up! I’ve been holding out for way too long, almost bursting with excitement to announce: I CAN FINALLY AFFORD A SMARTPHONE!!!!!! (I’m typing this on my old computer because it’s much easier to type on, otherwise of course I would have thrown a ton of emojies in there!) But yes yes, I know I’ve praised the superiority of my trusty old Verizon LG Cosmos 3, and yes yes, the bird photography I took with that phone was potentially award-winning, but I could no longer pass up the chance to be able to constantly check the Facebook page for this blog from anywhere in the world, even while out birding! But apart from the obvious perks of having Facebook in my freaking pocket, this smartphone came with a “Hi-Def” camera (on the front and the back!) that takes pictures of birds (and of course selfies!) that are even clearer and wider than ever before! Check it out!:

Just look at the exquisite details of this rock feature, exquisitely framing an American Kestrel, the smallest and therefore fastest of the falcons & hawks. Another amazing “Space Age” feature of my cool phone is it has a pen in it! I can use it to circle and thereby accentuate the birds in my photography (as demonstrated above) or perhaps even draw other birds in the frame! 😉

The “selfie-mode” on my new phone has allowed me to explore the art-form in ways I never imagined possible, because now I can actually see and prepare my selfies as I’m taking them! And the larger lens is much better suited for depicting more of this long tall birder body of mine, including the remarkable Peace Dove shirt I often wear, so I was able to fully portray the true meaning of peace with this image. Except I do dislike how the shirt’s peace symbol is made out of feathers, because plucking a bird to get those feathers doesn’t seem so peaceful to me. 😦

2) I got a couple of LIFERS! recently!!!!!! For those readers who aren’t professional birders like me and merely enjoy my writing and photography skills, allow me to explain what a “LIFER!” is: it is a bird you are seeing for the very first time in your entire life, not per say an individual bird in particular but more so, say, a species of bird in particular. Each LIFER! increases your life list, which means getting one is the most important moment in a birder’s life, because it makes you an even better birder!

First up was a bird I’ve been searching for ever since I learned what birds even were, but I had only searched for it at night, because they are nocturnal, and unfortunately it’s hard to see birds at night! But then I found one that must have been blind or something and didn’t realize that it was out in the daytime: a Long-eared Owl!

I had not considered how much harder it would be to use my extremely large smartphone to take a photograph through my binoculars, and so this was still the best shot I could get. I realized this was a Long-eared Owl instead of the nearly identical Great-horned Owl when I saw that those were in fact ears on its head, not horns!

Beyond the regular old LIFER!, the absolute finest moment in all of birding is when you get to add another bird to your life list without even going birding! Ha! Imagine that! But yes, sometimes generous scientists decide to give us birders a “freebie” by declaring that one species is actually two! Ha! Just outta nowhere, they decide “Hey, this should probably be two different birds” and boom that’s it: got yourself a free LIFER! while you were sleeping! Ha!

Obviously I had already seen plenty of Western Scrub-jays all around here, but suddenly they have become Woodhouse Scrub-jays, so here is the picture of my LIFER! visiting two of my eighteen feeders!!! These ones are now called Woodhouse Scrub-jays because they primarily nest in wood birdhouses.

3) My dog Huck died! But don’t worry, I got another dog!!!, and this one I named after a bird!!!!!! At first I wanted to go with a desert species in honor of my desert heritage, so I considered simply naming her “Phainopepla,” or better still “Pyrrhuloxia,” but it seems both of those birds are actually found in more extreme deserts farther south than this part of Utah (which explains why I could never find any!), so I changed directions! ‘To the mountains,’ I thought! Southern Utah is known for its mountains, and we’ve got a doozy here in Boulder: Boulder (Mountain.) Sometimes I’ll even drive up on that mountain for a little while, so I’ve obviously seen plenty of mountain birds up there! ‘Yeah, why not a mountain bird?’ I thought, as I let out a little hum. ‘Hum? Well how about a mountain humming-bird, in fact?’ So I named her Calliope after the mountain humming-bird: the Calliope Humming-bird! These in turn were named after the Greek Goddess who had the prettiest song, because they are the humming-birds with the prettiest songs! (So far Calliope the dog doesn’t seem to have such a pretty voice, but I only ever hear it when she’s growling and snarling and barking at birds, which I just find kind of cute and funny.)

Here’s my little darling Calliope, probably sniffing out some birds to chase around, lol. Sorry this isn’t the best quality photograph since my fingers are in the shot, but my phone is just so gigantic that it’s sometimes hard to hold.

Wow, I hope you’re all as excited as I am!!!!!! O.K., well for now I’m gonna get back on my phone to see if any of yinz guys commented on my Facebook or posted any cool Buzzfeed articles (which you can do here: https://www.facebook.com/The-Bearded-Burgher-Birder-Blogger-in-Boulder-783726771715479/, or just go to https://www.facebook.com and then in the search bar type in the words “The Bearded ‘Burgher Birder Blogger in Boulder”) but I hope to have more higher quality posts like this in the near future!!!!!!

‘Bout Being a Bigger, Better, Bolder Birder in Beautiful Boulder

After reading about my fearlessly epic takeover of the Utah birding scene, I’ll bet hundreds of my faithful readers have been compelled to ask this very question but simply forgot to leave any blog comments: “Hey BBBBinB, what exactly is it even really like to be a birder in Boulder? Tell us all about what exactly it’s even really like to just live out there in the genuine Wild Wild West!”

Well, hypothetical questioner, I sort of already did that here: 2015: My “Big Year” of Birding in the Utah Desert and here: A tad bit more about myself: Why I’m such a birding expert, not to mention the post I wrote about my 2014 Thanksgiving visit to Utah: Happy “Turkey Day” from the BBB… Out West!, oh and I dearly hope you haven’t forgotten this captivating report about my first tantalizing taste of Garfield County eBird glory: Nov. 24th – Dec. 10th, 2014: The ‘Burgher Birder Blogger’s Better Birding in Boulder, but yeah let me tell you all about what exactly it’s even really like to be the best birder in Boulder, and beyond!

Now that I’m fully acclimated to the Utah birding lifestyle, don’t I just naturally look the part of the best birder within a hundred miles?! Check out my cool camo binocular suspenders, my cool hairstyle, of course my cool bandanna, and how cool it is to be able to get away with drinking a thirst-quenching and respectably low-in-alcohol can of beer while out birding in the middle of the desert, because it is truly LAWLESS out here, just like in the movies!!!

We still have some regular American Goldfinches here like back in the ‘Burgh, but right in my Boulder backyard (you can tell it’s mine since there’s a bird feeder) I found this other yellow (gold) finch, known as the Lower Goldfinch. These males are not quite as vibrantly colored as the American Goldfinch, which makes sense, since nothing shines brighter than America.

Again reiterating that this is called “The Wild Wild West,” there are actual falconers out here! And here’s me in front of a real live falconer’s falconing falcon! You can tell this one is a juvenile due to the extensive barring on its chest and the extensive barring on its window.

So those three images nicely exemplify my current birding life: how cool I look while birding, plus a couple of endemic birds of The Wild Wild West! And all this sweet birding action has pretty much totally paid off big time, as I’m already over ONE HUNDRED birds for the year,  which is over TWICE as much as the sorry second-place competition (my girlfriend Heather): Top 100 eBirders in Garfield County, 2016

But delving deeper, allow me to demonstrate how a desert dweller like me must fully appreciate and utilize the entire desert landscape in order to survive, not merely the beautiful birds. There are even some decent-looking rocky areas to look at! Sadly there aren’t really that many plants around since it’s the desert and all, but otherwise I would be forced to admire even those!

Scenes like this are all too commonplace out here. While this provided a fine enough vista for the solo picnic outing I took last week, can you even imagine how much more incredible this would look if they Rushmored it?! Maybe carve a few of our modern heroes up there, like Ronald Reagan, or even Nancy Reagan, rest her soul.

There actually are some pretty neat desertological features out here, like this magical place known collocally as “The Cosmic Ashtray,” which I guess is because it’s filled with some sort of reddish-brown ashes. Though I should really point out the coolest part of this photograph: my cool bird bandanna that I only wear to magical places like this and the dishwasher’s station at work!

But beyond walking aimlessly and sweatily around the empty desert, and finding every last bird in the county, there really isn’t really a whole lot to really do out here in Utah really… So unfortunately I don’t have many other breathtaking photographs or delightful tales about my life Out West, sorry fans. Thank Godwit I’ve got the title of Best Ever County Birder to boast about, otherwise one might think I’m wasting my time being out here when I could easily be living somewhere more fun like Downtown in the ‘Burgh or even Buffalo, NY.

I do need to show off my biggest local birding achievement to date: I discovered the county’s first record of nesting Cliff Geese! I think that must be their nests tucked up under the ledge there, which I deduced scientifically by simply observing that this would be a safe place for warding off predators, so that is naturally where the geese’s instincts would tell them to nest! Darwinism at its finest!

And here’s a shot of a “family moment” between Heather & me. While I was trying to photographically depict my cooler new mullet hairstyle and cooler new bandanna with feather, little did I know Heather was pranking me by making this selfie too raunchy and thus unsuitable to print and frame like all my others!

One final amazing Western fact involving that last image: since this is the desert, there is only one local bird big enough and black enough to have left behind that feather which I grandly thrust into my bandanna like a modern day Yankee Doodle: the California Condor! As you may have heard, these birds are now extinct, so in a way, this photograph is a poignantly symbolic homage to the countless extinct tribes of Native Americans, who also wore feathers in their bandannas like I do. Having spent a full year Out West, I can now confidently say I wholly understand the plight of the American Indian.

Video Study: Nightjar Vocalizations

If you’ve ever been outside, then you ought to know that birds sure make some kooky noises! (Or should that be cuckoo noises? 😉 ) Well, I finally made an instructional video for yinz to understand just what the heck kinds of birds you might be hearing! Enjoy!

A tad bit more about myself: Why I’m such a birding expert

Okay, jeez. My “so-called” fans have spoken, as two different people have informed me that my last post didn’t include any photographs of birds, or even say a single thing about birds. But come on people, I gave vital insider insight into how I skyrocketed to the top of the ranks, a quite candid and dare I say “no holes barred” look into how we professional birders really do business. Another two people doubted that I really even am much of a birding expert. Ummm… WRONG!!! Did you even read that last post???! I’m the number one birder EVER in Garfield County! I trust you’ve seen this already: http://ebird.org/ebird/top100?locInfo.regionCode=US-UT-017&year=AAAA

Ummm… yeah. That Ryan McDermott.

But to humor the doubters and the “haterz,” allow me to introduce myself: I’m the All-Time Birding Leader for Garfield County, and here’s why:

This is just a primo example of me in my straight up natural environment. Note: the birds easily approach me without hesitation, whilst my beleaguered colleague holds out his hand in vain. They are only drawn towards me! [Disclaimer: this was taken in St. Louis, Missouri in March 2014, so it unfortunately didn’t count towards my “Big Year” of 2015, but how cool would that have been?]

Further evidence. Note: not only have I allured 3 different species within the span of 2 images (Canadian Goose, American Brown Duck, and Swan), but I think the other gentleman’s expression truly says all you need to know: I am an AMAZING birder!!! Further note: my binoculars are cast off behind me, because I often don’t even need them to identify birds!!!!! (I do apologize for this shot being slightly NSFW, since it shows off my “lower rump region” as all we serious bird experts refer to it.)

Exhibit C: My own Sibley Guide to Birds (note how worn out it is from me constantly reading it), my Birding Utah guide (which has helped me find nearly every bird in Utah), Peter Singer’s Animal Liberation (a treatise on why you should be kind to animals, including birds), and my napkin rings which are shaped like ducks.

That enough for ya? Yeah, I thought it might be, but let’s go deeper, dawg. Allow me to show you the true lengths I go in order to be the “numbero uno” birder around.

That’s right, I’ve done a little something called THE CHRISTMAS BIRD COUNT, ever heard of it?! I love birds so much, I spent Christmas with them like they were my own family, instead of being with my real family. And you bet that’s the finest quality bird seed behind me, and you better bet that I always feed the birds outside my house, inside my house, and everywhere else I go! In other words: birds depend on me for survival.

Here’s a peaceful image of me just whistling away, like a bird. You can’t hear it since it’s just a selfie, but let me assure you: I sound just like one!

The main reason I’m such a Bird Master is that I’m highly-trained in all the ancient birding techniques. One such insider method is a little thing we do called “pishing,” wherein one produces this whispery sound by pushing air through one’s teeth, making a noise sort of like “pish pish pish.” This sound attracts birds, because it is very annoying, so sometimes they’ll fly right up and try to peck you so you’ll stop. I swear by the pishing system, it’s how I’ve seen every single bird I’ve ever seen. This one time, I was pishing near some bushes, and I heard a mysterious bird from deep within the bushes, so I pished harder. I stood there just pishing and pishing, I probably pished for a solid five minutes! It flowed right out of me, sometimes it feels so good to pish! Then I noticed some family with small children walking past me while I was awkwardly just standing there pishing into the bushes, but what could I do, I had to pish! Their little boy came over and curiously watched me while I pished, and then he started to pish himself! It was so cute! Unfortunately I never did see that bird.

Yinz all know I’m a renowned bird artist, as demonstrated here: Drawing Study: Beaks of the Finches. But I’ll have you know these skillz extend into the 3-D(imentional) realm, as well! Why, from an ordinary flat piece of paper, I’ve crafted the unmistakable likeness of a swan! (I had forgotten this was supposed to be a swan when I took this photograph and mistakenly provided comparison images of geese, but I suppose it could be a goose, too. That’s the beauty of talented art: always open to interpretation!)

Here I am just sippin’ my morning brew (Clamato) out of, yep, you guessed it: a mug with birds on it! [Disclaimer: I have never seen parrots in the wild nor ever been to Florida.]

Given that it ain’t just called “The Wild Wild West” for nothin’, I’m even allowed to own birds out here!!! When I was informed by the thought police at eBird HQ that my Utah State Record ostriches were most likely farm birds and thus wouldn’t count towards my score, I was annoyed, but also a little excited, because that meant maybe it was possible to own an ostrich of my very own! After researching the requirements for keeping an ostrich (yes, I’ll humbly admit, sometimes I don’t know everything about birds, and occasionally I need to look things up), I decided to go for a smaller variety, so I got some chickens. Their names are Chickenzie, Repecka, Ericluck, Egglizabeth, Leslie Niels-Hen, Chicken Soup For My Soul, and Porky 1 and Porky 2, just because I love those movies Porky’s and Porky’s II: The Next Day.

LOL, the chickens just love me! And I love them too, obv., which is why I’ll certainly never kill them or eat them and always let them have all the food and attention they could ever want, so don’t go tweeting PETA on me or anything! As I consider them all my children, I don’t even let myself eat their eggs, since that would be akin to eating my own unborn grandchildren.

As the final proof of my prowess, I give you this photograph taken out in the real world, A.K.A. The Wilderness, where I’m holding up these cool bird feathers that I easily found all by myself. (Expert advice: you should always wear safety gloves when handling wild bird parts, because birds are filthy little critters and you don’t know where they’ve been.)

Still want to doubt I know a thing or two about birds? Nah, didn’t think so, bro.

Your Honor, I rest my case.

 

 

 

 

2015: My “Big Year” of Birding in the Utah Desert

So, we meet again, this time with me being a completely different person, so it’s actually as if we’re meeting for the very first time. A different person because I’m now a Western person, a cowboy, if you will. Last March, I packed my bags and binoculars and bird guides and moved to Boulder, Utah, to try to make it big on the Western Birding Circuit. I came out here as sort of a modern day pioneer, if you will, ready to “strike gold” and ensure my legacy in the Top 100 eBirders of Garfield County. This move was quite a controversial one, as I had previously been poised to easily overtake the number one spot in Allegheny County, my former home back in the ‘Burgh area. The other ‘Burgher birders begged me to stay, for without me they had much less of a chance to find any birds themselves. You probably read some of their pleas for my reconsideration in the classifieds section of that month’s issue of Bird Watcher’s Digest. (LOL, I’m only joking, I know nobody reads that magazine!) But nay, I had to give that all away in hopes of even greater glory: my very own Manifest Destiny, if you will: to become the greatest eBirder OF ALL TIME in Garfield County, Utah!!!

And lo, I did it! Oh, you knew I’d do it!!! Yes, you may recall my earlier travails Out West, when I sought the throne of Number One Garfield County eBirder for all of 2014, only to fall just short behind my very own girlfriend. Sure, that was still a stunning feat which would likely be enough to suit your average birdwatcher like Richard Crossley, but I’m no birdwatcher, I’m a birder. So this only left me with a yearning for an EVEN BIGGER achievement, as I noticed the title of Best All Time was within reach! So I gave up my cushy ‘Burgh life and set my goals for that prestigious title. Over the course of the year, I honed my crafts of bird-finding and bird-photographing and bird-appreciating. I didn’t let the fiery glare of the relentless desert sun get in my eyes and distract me from seeing a single bird! Within mere days of living Out West, I illustriously ascended to the absolute top of the ranks for the year, never to relinquish that grasp. (It’ll take more than just a weekend trip to Bryce Canyon to best me, Gerard de Jong!)  Soon enough, sure enough, there I was: right at the very top of the Top 100 eBirders in Garfield County, not only for that year, but for every year, OF ALL TIME!!!!! Don’t believe me? Well then what do you have to say about this indisputable evidence, sucker: http://ebird.org/ebird/top100?locInfo.regionCode=US-UT-017&year=AAAA

Yes, I realize what you’re thinking: “But Ryan, you accomplished this all in little under one calendar year?! But how is that even possible for one man???!” Well, pull up a seat, and let me show and tell you all about My “Big Year” of Birding in the Utah Desert!

Just a boy, his binoculars, and the desert!

 

Here’s a photograph of me next to some type of desert shrubs, or “scrubs” as they’re known Out West.

Look how hot it is out here in the desert! Good thing selfies like this are the perfect opportunity to provide my body with some much needed shade!

Yep, that’s me, just a good old Western boy out in his natural habitat: a canyon.

Here I am underneath a real life Desert Arch! Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ll ever see? I just love the artistry of this selfie: the way the Sun is shining right into the lens, demonstrating how it endlessly bakes the land below. FYI: the Sun is the definitive source of heat in the desert!!!

Contrary to popular belief, there actually sometimes is water in the desert, so you usually don’t even need to bring any yourself if you don’t want to. Just look how excited I am to safely quench my thirst in this stream I found! (If you look carefully at the bottom of the frame, you’ll notice my empty water bottle, which I’ve brought with me to fill up on just such an occasion! That’s the motto of the desert: “Be prepared, like the Boy Scouts always say.”)

Here’s a selfie of me in some sort of field or something, I don’t really remember this one. (Forgive me, it’s been such a long incredible journey of a year, chock full of all kinds of amazing birding adventures like this!)

The little cuuuuutie in this nonselfie is my “main squeeze” Heather. She really likes this blog a whole lot and thinks it’s cool and interesting that I do this and she is always eager to be a part of it in any way possible, sometimes even helping me line up my selfie shots. Ah yes, and one last little tidbit about her: she also just so happens to be the NUMBER TWO ALL-TIME BIRDER IN GARFIELD COUNTY, behind yours truly!!! Sorry fellas, she’s taken, by me!

You best be believin’ I brought my “main man” Huck out here too! With that rugged bandanna, doesn’t he look like he truly belongs here in The Wild Wild West, like a real cowboy? Yeah, he’s a regular Kenny Chesney all right!

Speaking of cowboys, here’s a shot I took while I was just out wrangling up some cattle in my Dodge Neon. Could The Wild Wild West possibly be any wilder wilder???!

Here I am in my cool authentic Western Hat, doing the ultimate impression of the ultimate cowboy: Clint Eastwood. “Well, ya feelin’ kinda lucky, ya punk?” LOL!

There’s even a mountain here in the desert, covered in pine trees. As you can see, I think pine trees are pretty neat, since we don’t have them back in the East. This one was wider than my head!

A selfie of me in front of some white trees. You’re probably thinking: “Trees? In the desert?!” If so, please go back and read the caption for the previous photograph, proving that there are in fact trees out here.

This is just one of the many examples of the fabulous types of ethnic Western meals I’ve been eating out here.

Here’s me just straight cruisin’.

Cruisin’ again. Just how I roll.

This is a selfie of me in my Western shower. Who knew I’d still be able to get this wet out here in the dry desert?

Look at this serene image from over the summer: you can see how I’m just savoring the lovely scent of this gorgeous desert flower. Sometimes when I’m out on a hardcore birding mission, I need to just stop and relax for a moment, to try to take in the beauty of nature in the midst of all the crazy work involved in checking more birds off my list.

And to think: this is what I sacrificed in order to pursue my dreams Out West! This selfie was from way back when I was merely the ‘Burgher Birder Blogger in the ‘Burgh, living the sweet life of a parking lot attendant. How far I’ve come, especially in my skills as a selfie photographer!

And here I am today! Undisputed Champ of Garfield County… in the SNOW… what the… ?!?! Yes, you aren’t mistaken: it actually sometimes even snows out here in the desert!!! Unbelievable, right? My dog actually needs to wear a sweater… in the DESERT???!!! Now I’ve seen everything!

And last but not least, but really the very best part about Boulder, Utah: it’s only five and a half hours away from Vegas, baby! #RoadTrip! Worth the drive if only to go to this fancy Guy Fieri restaurant, which served me the finest meal I’ve eaten in my entire life!!! (Or as Guy would say: “That was awesome!”)

Okay, what better way to wrap up my birding adventures of 2015 than with a Guy Fieri quote?! Wasn’t that whole thing interesting?! If that’s not a “Big Year,” then I don’t know what is! Now bring on 2016, where after the desert heats back up and all this snow melts and the birds come back, I’m sure to maintain my stronghold as The Best (e)Birder in Garfield County… EVER!!!!!

 

Q&A: Ask a Birder

I’ve asked all my fans to ask me any questions they have about birds or birding, so that I could answer them here to educate everybody! The results are below:

While no one specifically asked what a birder looks like, here is a staged selfie to demonstrate how we all appear, in case that was also something anyone was wondering. (Note: birding is typically done outdoors, but as I said this is only a staged reenactment.)

How do birds fly?

With their wings, dummy! Ah ha ha, I’m only teasing!!! They flap their wings until it lifts them up. Hence, this process is known as “lift.” Science is so interesting like that!

Why are all birds’ beaks yellow?

I’m afraid you’re mixing up real life with cartoons, which I often do, too. While most birds have yellow beaks, some of them actually don’t! As for why: since I just explained that the basis of your question was ill-informed, it doesn’t make much sense to still answer it, now does it?

Is the Ivory-billed Woodpecker really extinct?

Sadly, we’ll probably never know.

Is your favorite band The Eagles, Flock of Seagulls, or The Byrds? (LOL)

No way, my favorite band is John Mayer!

What do you think is the general public’s biggest misconception about birds?

I’ll tell you what, that game “Angry Birds” makes me such an “Angry Birder!” It’s nothing but lies! How that game ever became so popular is beyond me, because birds are never angry! They are the sweetest, gentlest, most magical animals on the planet! The makers of that game are a bunch of liars who don’t have a clue about ornithology!

Which bird song do you think sounds the prettiest?

As nice as the springtime dawn chorus in the eastern woodlands can be, I must say I’m absolutely transfixed every time I hear the amazing song of this electronic motion-sensing parrot I bought: 

Is it true that all birds are beautiful?

You bet!

Do you know the scientific name of the Ash-throated Flycatcher?

I’m a birder, so of course I do! The ash-throated flycatcher (Myiarchus cinerascens) is a passerine bird in the tyrant flycatcher family. It

What is your favorite food? (Oh, was this supposed to be a bird-related question?)

Well funny you should ask, because I like to step into birds’ shoes now and then (how adorable would that be if birds really wore shoes?!) so I usually eat a lot of sunflower seeds. But my favorite food is probably chicken fingers, yum!

Is there a funnier name for a bird than the “Titmouse?”

While it definitely is pretty funny that a bird was accidentally called a mouse, I’ve always thought “Great Blue Heron” was the funniest name, because they’re not really all that great.

Whatcha lookin’ at? [Asked in the field.]

Oh, there are just some nuthatches up there.

Where is your favorite birding “hot-spot” around the ‘Burgh?

Wherever the most birds are! So usually the trees!

How do migrating birds even know which way is North or South? Maps?

I’ve often wondered that myself! I’ll bet they just remember.

What’s the best bird you’ve ever seen?

Well that’s easy! That’d be the very first bird I ever saw, the one that brought me into this world to teach all of yinz about birds: the Stork! 😉

Think you can think of another thing for me to think about? Ask me below!

Drawing Study: Beaks of the Finches

Okay, okay, so I’ve been receiving a TON of requests to finally fulfill my promise to feature original artwork on this blog (although my photographs are artworks, technically). After all, while photography and nature writing may be my true calling, my favorite artistic medium for portraying birds is either drawing or painting them, in the spirit of the world’s first bird artist: Roger Tory Peterson. Many of you may not even realize that I was actually named after this birding icon, as my full name is Ryan Tory Peterson McDermott. RTP the First, as I often call him, educated hundreds of people through his helpful “field guides” which depicted birds artistically, and showed readers specifically what to look for when trying to literally make heads or tails of them! So that’s exactly what I’m going to do here: artistically teach yinz the only surefire way to separate Purple Finches from House Finches (which are also purple): look at their beaks!

(Drawing copyrighted 2015 by Ryan McDermott, all rights reserved.) This artwork represents a zoomed-in detail of the beak of a House Finch (above) compared to the beak of a Purple Finch (below), with their eyes and a bit of the forehead included to give you an idea of which way they are facing and to make it look more realistic. I apologize for using a green marker, as neither finch is actually green, but it was all I had at the time.

Take a good long look those beaks (indicated by the arrows). Pay careful attention to how each one looks. Once you’ve got that memorized, you’ll be able to tell these finches apart! Actually now that I look at the drawings it seems like the PUFI (Purple Finch) appears a little smaller than the HOFI (House Finch), but they’re about the same size in real life, so don’t let that confuse you! To avoid further confusion, I’ve just included the only two true finch species native to our area (East Coast). I was going to include the beak of a crossbill here too, but if you really need to refer to a comparative study of crossbill beaks versus other finch beaks, you’d better hang up your binoculars for good, because only a fool would believe the crossbill isn’t just some made-up mythological bird like the Archaeopteryx!